I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
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He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
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No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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