I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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