Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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