didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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