It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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