I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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