I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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