No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
