Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
ok first of all what the fuck
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
