my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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