Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
