apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
