Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize