One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
