If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
