I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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