i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My hand turned me down
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
