Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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