Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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