im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
