bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
