why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
