Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
someone owes me an orgasm
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
