If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
