i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
