not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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