The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
