I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
