I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
