I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
