my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
