Acid is not a monday night drug
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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