Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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