you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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