And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
