Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
