my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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