Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize