He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
