You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
