he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
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I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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