Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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