i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
did you just send me my own nude
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I would ride that face into the sunset
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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