I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You are the jesus of drinking
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
