I wannas sexs uuuuu
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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