Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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