actually, I'm a sock model
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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