It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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