so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
is wine microwaveable?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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