Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
