did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
