Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
