addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize