Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
