i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We had sex on a dog bed..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
