im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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