There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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