and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
